A letter to my friends and family

Hey everyone. It's been a trying time for me lately; ask any number of people who I've spoken with over the last several weeks who've tried to help me deal with my family issues and my work issues. Stress has been at an all time high, and about the only way I had to deal with it all was to simply withdraw myself further away from everything. I'm writing this letter and making this page to catch everyone up on everything that I can think of, and to ask for your help. Some of you have already offered your assistance, and I apologize for not having the courage to take your hand and pull myself up.

Let's start with work. Up until around the middle of April, I was working for ostensibly the busiest Autozone in Fresno, Ashlan and Marks. The schedule was rough, the hours were harsh (2 hour commute, opening at 6:45 AM or closing at 12:30 AM, sometimes in a row) and the work environment was unforgiving with high level management having their offices in the same building. Even though I was told I was one of the better workers there, it was incredibly stressful. As one person's take on it, they worked me like a dog and offered nothing in exchange. I finally decided I needed to get out from under that, and asked to be transferred out to a slower store that was a little bit closer to the north side of town. Fortunately, they arranged that immediately to my surprise, and I moved to my new store 2 weeks later. The pace is so noticeably different that my health has visibly improved since I arrived. My energy and my drive have been slowly returning as the stress fades away. I am hoping this trend continues, as it can only help with my next problem.

Many of you have seen me at various conventions, playing piano on stage. Death, loss of a loved one, or simply being away from someone you care about has often been a topic of my music for these shows. It is a powerful motivator; one that usually leaves me broken and crying after the show, as several of you have also seen. Never have I been asked to deal with the death of someone close to me. It was always someone else's grief that I drew on, and that provided enough insulation that I could handle it. But it has been a fear for many, many years that I would one day have to face the death of my own parents. I have had nightmares on the topic. It never ends well for me, and now that nightmare is here, staring me in the face. My mother has been given 6 months to a year to live, and I didn't know how to cope. Many, many people offered both among friends and family to help me go home, knowing that I cannot afford to do so myself. I want to say thank you to those kind hearts, and to apologize for not having the courage to accept it at the time. I was too scared to go home and see my mother, to face that nightmare head on. But in truth, as a couple of you have said, I must do so and that is the only way I can free myself from the doubt and the fears that I have not been a good son. So, this is what I want to do; I am asking you all to help me get there. Since there are many of you who have offered, this way the burden is lessened upon all of you.

What I want to do: I want to go home and spend 2 weeks with my mother, but I also want to record the entireity of Project X while I'm out there. Mom has always loved me as a musician first and foremost, and I want to dedicate this 10th album to her, and let her be part of its creation as I am sure my emotions will be running extremely high while I am over there. This is the best way for me to both honor her life and her memory, and to allow me to continue living. The cost of a coast to coast plane ticket, round trip, is about 400-500 dollars depending on dates.
This also means that I need a piano, either shipping over the one I have with me or borrowing or otherwise acquiring a USB capable piano over at my house since my old Clavinova while charming is not capable of recording into a computer. When I moved from Florida, it cost almost 200 dollars to ship my piano back, one way. Round trip shipping would be 400 dollars; which you could buy a current gen piano with and then even return it once we were done with it if nessecary. All the rest of my recording equipment fits easily in my backpack, so that could simply fly on the airplane with me.
Finally, while I'm sure my parents will provide for me while I'm over there, I still have to account for missing a full paycheck at work or we will fall further behind on our bills than we already are. I average 250-400 dollars for a biweekly paycheck. All accounted for, this adds up to roughly 1 to 1.5k, which I realize is no small number. I do have some things to offer in return, though.

For starters, Anyone who puts in anything I will be sending a hard copy of the album shortly after its finished. I haven't printed a physical album in a while, but this one deserves it I think. I will also be doing a live concert from the Sutton town common gazebo, assuming I can get permission to use it for an hour. I will be recording that as well so you all can see it. (My parents live on the town common, across from their church and town hall.) If you have not grabbed the rest of my music, please do so at http://www.shirerecords.com/Furfright as well. If you can, and you live in the New England area, I would love to host you for a couple of hours and introduce you to my mother; she's well aware of how awesome our furry community has been, and she's been nothing but supportive of myself and Equus. I'll be happy to play for you while you're here as well. Simply indicate in the tip jar screen that you'd like to stop by and I'll email you the address. Below is a widget that allows you to donate funds; it keeps track of how much has been given so that you do not have to go overboard on a blind guess at what's needed. I don't want to hurt you all in the process of helping me see my mother in her last days. Thank you so much, everyone; you all have been so supportive and patient with this silly shiresheep. Thank you for waiting for me to come to this decision on my own. I couldn't ask for better friends, family, or community. I'm ready to face the music, and raise my head to the sunshine again. For those who can't see the flash based Tip Jar below or wish their donation to remain private, please paypal directly to flarestarfire@yahoo.com , and thank you again.

Flare the shire horse
Zeryx the mountain ram
Michael Schaefer

If you have any questions or comments, please email me by clicking here . Thank you!